Terms Of Use

these are my "house rules"...

As some of you have seen, my "Romanism" post got a whole lot of attention. I got lots of comments (many unfavorable), and many e-mails (which were again unfavorable, but mostly civil).

This situation made me realize something. A Pattern of Sound Words has grown quite a bit in the last few months; my site statistics have increased dramatically! With this increase in traffic comes the risk of internet trolls and a larger number of people who won't like what this blog stands for. Now trolls I don't tolerate, people who hang out here just to be a "nay-sayer" irritates me, but people who just want to express a disagreement with a specific post I have absolutely no problem with.

Now to help weed out the honest, respectful dissentor from the smart-alec or internet troll, Funky requested I post my blog's "dos and don'ts". I thought it was a fabulous idea.

So without further ado, here are A Pattern of Sound Words' Terms of Use:


1- No profanity or offensive language will be tolerated.

2- No inappropriate or vulgar subject matter.

3- Treat me and other commentors with respect and civility (even when you think they don't deserve it)

4- Contrary to most other blogs, my comment box is NOT to be used as a debate forum. Comment on the post, say your piece, then let it go; regardless of what I or another commentor may respond. If you want to go further, send an e-mail. If the commentor didn't give his e-mail, TAKE THE HINT!

5- Don't treat me like an idiot. My posts are prepared thoughtfully and prayerfully. If you don't believe that, tough!

6- Don't treat other commentors like idiots. If someone is being stupid, just ignore him/her. I'll deal with it if necessary.

7- I reserve the right to have "the last word" on all posts; this is, after all, MY BLOG.

8- I reserve the right to delete any comment that I feel violates these rules, as well as the right to ban any offender (not saying I always will, I believe in showing some grace).

9- Trackbacks: they will be judged on a case by case basis. For sure if you trackback one of my posts to a website that is contrary to the views of "A Pattern of Sound Words", I won't be too inclined to leave it there. That being said, I can show grace; especially if the trackback post is fair.


We'll leave it at that for now. If the need arises, I'll update the TOU.

I hope these "rules" won't discourage honest and kind comments. I really do value your input and am absolutely okay with a respectful dissention in my comments.

Well, all that is left now is to put this TOU to the test, and I believe the next post will do just fine, I'm afraid it'll be another controversial one.


Later,

Friday Night Notes

like preaching to the wall...

Well, I "Lone Rangered" it tonight. My pastor had a prior engagement, so I ended up going out for street evangelism all by my little lonesome. I'm not big on preaching by myself, I believe the Lord gave His people a principle when he sent his disciples "forth by two and two" (Mark 6:7). There is security in numbers. But what can you do, we are just a small church mission, and I felt it was important to have someone out there presenting the Gospel.

The response was much like the weather tonight; it was cold. It's kind of disappointing really, I think I would have gotten more spiritual interest if I had preached my 3 hours to the wall behind me rather than the people in the marketplace. I feel sorry for my fellow man, and I wish the Lord would use me as a mighty soul winner, but don't worry, I'm not whining: after all, the Lord was glorified in the market tonight.

I did have a few words with a REALLY DRUNK young man. He was one of those street kids, ran away from home in rebellion, panhandling for money, just wasting his life away. Anyway, he saw me walking down the street with my gospel sign (our brand new one!), so he staggered over to me and after telling me a bit about his life story he said:

-Hey man! I want to be right with God, can you help me?

Now I knew I wasn't going to go too far with this young fellow, he was terribly intoxicated, so I put it plainly to him:

-Ok, I'll help you. We'll go to Shepherd's (the local shelter), you'll get a night of sleep, sober up, and then you'll read this gospel tract and get to know God and how you should live before Him. You should also be making plans to swallow your pride and put away the rebellion and head back home to your parents, and HONOUR THEM.

Well, let me tell you, that wasn't the help he wanted! No, no. What he was looking for was an easy way out. A quick prayer, a "there...there...you've had it rough", maybe even a little bit of money. Anyway, when he rejected what I proposed, he then started yelling at me, calling me a hypocrite and saying "he didn't need my help after all". It was a pretty sad.

Oh! something did happen that I kind of liked. A young lady was outside a pub smoking a cigarette (it's illegal to smoke in pubs in my province now), and I was preaching across the street. She listened to my Gospel presentation from across the street for a few minutes and then walked over to me and asked me for one of my Gospel tracts. I gladly gave her one, she thanked me and was on her way. The beginning of a conversion story? I can only hope.

On that note, good night, and have a great weekend,

Romanism

Thanks Jean-Paul, but no thanks...

Disclaimer: This post WILL offend, but let me be clear, it isn't my intention to offend. The Bible offends, that much is clear since it affirms the fact in 1 Peter 2:8. What I will post here, I really, really believe. If you disagree, tough! I post about biblical matters, I'm not running a popularity contest.

I'm writing this post as background to the next post. I felt it was important to lay this foundation down so that all you, dear readers, truly understand where I'm coming from. And what is this foundation? Why I affirm that Roman Catholicism is a wicked false religion.

Let me make my position clear: A Christian Roman Catholic, to me, is as opposite as a Nazi Jew. One cannot be a follower of Christ and be a follower of Romanism at the same time. Why? Because the Romanist worships a god different than the God of the Bible. For example, consider the 2nd person of the Trinity, the Lord Jesus Christ:


Romanism:

-Jesus was born of a sinless, perfect mother, who is declared the "Queen of Heaven".
-Jesus did not have half-brothers and half-sisters.
-Jesus died for all of mankind, Christian or not.
-Jesus made Peter the 1st pope (the leader of the so-called Roman Catholic church), to act as a representative for God on the Earth.
-Jesus was a long-haired, bearded, skinny guy.
-Jesus saves men by a combination of faith and works of righteousness.

Biblical Christianity:

-Jesus was born of a kind, godly woman, but still a sinner by birth and choice (Luke 1:26-38).
-Mary and Joseph had sons and daughters after the birth of Christ (Luke 8:20).
-Jesus died for HIS SHEEP; there is no condemnation only for those who are IN CHRIST (John 10:11; Romans 8:1).
-Jesus is the only mediator between man and God there is no place for popes or priests
(1 Timothy 2:5).
-Jesus knew that it was shameful for a man to have long hair, so he had short hair (1 Corinthians 11:14).
-Jesus saves men by faith alone (Ephesians 2: 8-9).


You see, the names are the same, but we're not talking about the same people. There are at least to other men in my city who have the same name as myself. How does someone differentiate us? By description! If you're looking for a 200 lbs, 6 feet tall man, you got the wrong Rand. The same reasoning applies to the Biblical Christ and the Romanist Christ. The Jesus I worship, is not the Jesus that the Roman Catholic worships.

This post only scratches the surface of Roman Catholic false teachings. I haven't touched the idolatry with their statues of wood, stone and gold (Exodus 20:4; Habakuk 2:18-19). I haven't dealt with the extortion of the indulgence system, which I assure you, continues in many places today (1 Peter 5:2). I've made no mention of their violation of the 1st commandment of Moses by worshiping Mary, the so-called Queen of Heaven (Exodus 20:3). In the end, you get my point:

There will be no Roman Catholic in the Kingdom of God; that includes all the popes, mother Theresa, brother Andrew, and all other men and women who have rejected the God of the Bible to embrace the Romanist god. If you are a Romanist, and you are reading these words, you need to repent and believe in the God of the Bible. God will not receive an unrepentant idolater.

Sorry!

moving isn't fun...

I apologize for the lack of posts these past two weeks. Things are just so busy! Moving our posessions from one house to the next is proving longer and more difficult. My home internet service isn't even up yet (I'm writing this at my work compy).

I hope to be back in full force next week, I'll try posting whenever I can.

In the meantime, take a bit of time to read this. It is a famous sermon by Jonathan Edwards. After you're done reading it, if you're not in tears, begging God to forgive you and help you, YOU'RE A MUCH BETTER CHRISTIAN THAN I.

Later,

Friday Night Notes

sorry I'm late...we're moving!

Well, it was another cold one! I actually like cold weather, but I'll admit that street preaching when it's -25 Celsius isn't a whole lot of fun. My pastor and I were out there for a few hours (my pastor kept at it an extra hour...I had to get my sleep to move all my stuff from house A to house B in the morning).

While I was preaching, I got a glimpse of a by-law officer coming down the street. I recognized him quickly. He's the guy who gives out tickets to the multitude who park in "no stop" or "no parking" zones. Whenever I'd see him in the past, he would usually give me a quick nod (as a greeting) and a kind smile, but this time, he spoke up! He said:

-Has it ever occurred to you that maybe these idiots don't deserve to be saved?"

Praise God! This time I was ready. I quickly answered:

-None of us deserve to be saved my friend. I most certainly didn't deserve the grace that was given to me.

He again nodded, smiled and walked away.

Now the reason I said: "this time I was ready". A couple of years ago, I was preaching on our usual street corner; I was still pretty green and though I could preach an adequate gospel message, I was somewhat lacking when dealing with my audience's comments/questions. Anyway, a man came along to speak to me; he told me he was faithful to the Orthodox church (I can't remember which one), and after saying that I was a good kid, he said:

-Don't kill yourself son, let them burn...they are wicked and evil and they curse God without reservation. Let them die!

I knew his attitude was completely wrong, but at that moment, I just didn't have the right words. Later that night, as I was taking my shower, it all came to me: "Why didn't you tell him Hell is a terrible place and if he really knew what it was like, he wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy! Why didn't you tell him that all who will escape condemnation to Hell are, in and of themselves, evil and wicked. Why didn't you rebuke his pride; thinking that he was somehow more worthy of God's favour than another!"

Score one for experience I guess.

Oh yeah, I started using the 10 Commandments in my preaching (yes, all 10). I figured that with the serious lack of Biblical knowledge in Canadian society today, going through the 10 Commandments would probably be beneficial. I mean, most people admit they are sinners when they come to speak to me, but they have no real concept of what sin is.


Well, back to fixing up our new place, later!

C.S. Lewis

another post that might not be too popular...

Well, Amy and Beth were right, it was a bit of a trick Poll question. That being said, friends, one should not be timid in pointing out error when one sees it. You see, even the Saved are often guilty of "man-worship", which in the end, is idolatry. There is no doubt that the whole list I put down in my last post is, among other things, Roman Catholic false teaching. Specifically, it is false doctrines that none other that C.S. Lewis adhered to.

C.S. Lewis is often called one of the greatest Christian apologists, but considering his grave theological errors, I ask you: how can this be? Even the late Dr. Martin Lloyd-Jones declared that C.S. Lewis' views on salvation and Christ's substitutionary atonement were "defective". Not only do I put in question that C.S. Lewis was a Christian apologist of any significance, I put in question his very Christianity.

I know Lewis' works. I've read "The Great Divorce", "Mere Christianity" and parts of "The Screwtape Letters". All and all, I wasn't impressed. "The Great Divorce" was cute fiction, and "The Screwtape Letters" was creepy fiction, but in the end, they were both vain FICTION, with very little by way of edifying theology (if any at all). "Mere Christianity" on the other hand, was not meant to be fiction, it was an attempt at boiling down Christianity to it's very base, and that was the problem with this book. In "Mere Christianity", Lewis attempts to present how pure and wonderful Christianity is in it's foundation, before dumb-dumbs like Rand come along and complicate things with holiness and DOCTRINE (oh no! I said the "d" word!).

Let me also add that a believer really doesn't need to read C.S. Lewis to see that there is something fishy going on with his books. Notice that every faith, from the Roman Catholic to the Mormon, from the Anglican to the Pentecostal, all these groups are perfectly okay with Lewis' writings. Am I really one of the few who finds this to be a bit weird? As far as I'm concerned, the only way an author can get away with pleasing such a large variety of faiths is to write fluff and stuff (nothing concrete), or to be everything to everyone; neither being very profitable to the Christian, or honoring to God.

Beware of C.S. Lewis' works my friends. Guard yourself from esteeming men who do not conform to the proper doctrines of the Word of God (and I'm not only speaking of C.S. Lewis here, teachers/preachers like Chuck Colson, Max Lucado and Billy Graham are just three names that quickly came to mind).

Friends, don't be afraid to say: "I know this teacher/author is popular, but he just doesn't measure up!"

Pop Quiz Christian Hotshot!!!

What do you think???

How seriously would you take the preaching/teaching of a man who:

-prays for the dead

-believes in Purgatory

-confesses sins to a priest

-rejects the bodily resurrection of believers

-believes in salvation through other religions (other than Christianity)

-rejects the total depravity of man

-rejects denominational separations

-rejects the doctrine of a literal fiery hell.


Let's make this a poll! On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being: "I don't want to hear the bonehead's foolishness", 10 being: "Wow...that guy rocks!"). Please place your answers in the comment box.


Later,

Too busy!!!

it's pretty wild up here...

Sorry, there will be no "Bible Readings" this week. I need the week off to get caught up!

I've been pretty busy the past couple of weeks. We're moving at the end of the month, so there is a lot of packing, a lot of work in the new house, and the baby isn't giving my wife and I full nights of sleep yet. So there, I have a whole range of excuses, choose the one the suits you best...LOL.

My posts may be less regular (due to all that is going on), but keep an eye out, I'll do my best to put up something every other day.

Take care,

Rand's Hero

and the winner is...

In my last post, I asked you all to comment on who you would like to meet in Heaven, after meeting with the Lord of course. Most of you expressed your desires to be reunited with a family member who have gone to be with the Lord, which is a wonderful hope to have! Maybe the fact I haven't lost anyone very close to me so far explains why my answer isn't a personal friend or family member.

My choice? No brainer... the Apostle Paul (aka Saul of Tarsus).

I have heard of people explaining how they felt a certain kinship to an author just by reading his/her works. I had never experienced that until I read the book of Acts, followed by Paul's Epistles. It's like Paul and I just, well, clicked!

Why? Many reasons. Chiefly, the man was nuts, crazy, completely out of his mind! I mean that in a good way...hee hee. Paul was scourged, beaten, STONED (yes...he had rocks thrown at him until he collapsed), imprisoned, shipwrecked and lost at sea, and all this for one reason only: THE FAITH. A man with that much courage and tenacity is worthy of my respect and admiration.

It doesn't end there though. It is Paul's journey from an ignorant, hard-hearted religious man to a godly, much used man of God that I find wonderful. He started a strong, tough character who was afraid of no one; a man with authority and might. And you see him, in his twilight years, asking Timothy not to forget to come to him soon because so many had forsaken him, and some had done him much harm; he also reminds Timothy to pick up his cloak in Troas, probably due to an elderly Paul, having trouble keeping warm in the winter (2 Timothy 4). The condescension in social status, and his spiritual ascension makes Paul a true hero of mine.

It will be very sweet to meet him some day...

Time For A Quick Poll!

this will be short and sweet...

So you're in Heaven, and you've met the Lord Jesus Christ. Who is the next person you would like to meet in glory?

(I'll give my answer in a couple of days)


Later,

The Compassionate Left???

Another right-wing rant I'm afraid...

When street preaching the Gospel, I am often approached by people wanting to know just how far I go into following the Bible literally. My answer usually manages to stun them; that despite the fact that they find me in sub-zero degree weather, standing on a street corner, preaching salvation in Christ Jesus (go figure!). The following questions (if not charges) then come:

-Well, what about __________ ?

The blank can be filled by any one of these: "gay rights, a woman right to choose (to murder that is), the spiritual merits of other religions (like Islam, Buddhism, Roman Catholicism...etc)." And again, my answer usually manages to stun. The usual responce I receive afterward is (and we'll use the merits of Islam for this example):

-You mean, you believe every Muslim in the world is condemned? Well, I just can't believe that a loving God would do that! That's pretty harsh AND RIGHT-WING! I'm far more compassionate!

And there you have it. The charge is simple: the Lefties are compassionate, the Right-wing religious types (like Your's Truly) are harsh and cold. The first time I was faced with this response I thought to myself: "Hmm...I guess that is kind of harsh." But that feeling didn't last too long. Why? BECAUSE I WAS STANDING ON A STREET CORNER, FREEZING IN SUB-ZERO TEMPERATURES, ON A STREET CORNER, PREACHING THE GOSPEL TO PEOPLE. I speak the truth, and I'm not lying or kidding when I say that street evangelism is the most loving thing I do for my fellow man; it is quite demanding on me every week, but I am constrained by God to show compassion to my countrymen.

So, what's up with this "compassionate Left" nonsense? Well, let me tell you what Jack Layton of the NDP, or John Kerry of the DNC, or the ACLU offers people that old Rand here doesn't. No! it isn't compassion, it's LICENSE. There is a HUGE difference.

Compassion: Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.

License: Lack of due restraint; excessive freedom. Heedlessness for the precepts of proper behavior.

I sacrifice my Friday nights to preach the Gospel to a wicked generation because I am deeply aware of the sufferings that is to come to those who refuse to receive the Truth that is in Christ Jesus; and nothing would make me happier than to see them relieved of their coming condemnation.

What do the "lefties" bring? When people want immorality without consequence, they give them condoms, and if that doesn't do the trick, they bring in abortion. When the people want to make homosexuality acceptable, they give them gay marriage. When the lost want to get doped up, they give them clean syringes and a pat on the back. None of this is proper/godly behaviour. The Left sells license, not compassion.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, everyone wants to feel justified, even the most wicked. I just hope this post will shake up the self-induced deception that I, and my Christian brothers and sisters, lack compassion.

The most compassionate commandment in history: "Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out."

This Week's Bible Readings

Oye...I'm still behind...

Here are the daily Bible passages to be read as we continue to "Read Through the Bible in One Year":

Monday: Numbers 13-14; Acts 7-9

Tuesday: Numbers 15-16; Acts 10

Wednesday: Numbers 17-18; Acts 11

Thursday: Numbers 19-20; Acts 12

Friday: Numbers 21-22; Acts 13

Saturday: Numbers 23-24; Acts 14

Sunday: Numbers 25-26; Acts 15


(Again, if anyone else wants to join our reading club, you are more than welcome. If you have any comments on the weeks readings, leave it in the comment box related to this post.)


Take care,

Friday Night Notes

It was good...really!

Well, the boys are back in town...downtown that is.

My pastor and I went out preaching tonight. Our usual spot in the marketplace was free of beggars and musicians so our preaching went unhindered. The reception was varied as usual. Plenty of mockers, a few angry souls who hate anything godly, and yes a few kind souls who were interested in the Gospel.

A man and a woman came to speak to me while I was holding our John 3:16 sign; they showed interest in coming to church on the Lord's Day. The man asked whether our church had a website, because he wanted to check out our doctrinal statement. I gladly gave him the website! I find it shows spiritual maturity when someone wants to see what a church actually believes in before going to a service.

Another interesting thing happened tonight. Three young Christians (of the Brethren flavour) stopped in front of me as I was preaching and offered to get me a warm coffee because, and I quote: "we really like what you're doing here tonight." Their kind words warmed my heart. We had a small chat and they continued with their business, and I continued with mine.

One thing that really struck me after the young people had left: they were so GOOD looking!!! I know...I know that sounds funny, but it's true! I mean two young men and one young woman with no tattoos, no metal in their faces, natural/normal hair colour...etc. But the main attractive feature was their faces, or their demeanor: they just beamed with kindness and gentleness. It was just such a contrast to the other people out there tonight who have such hard and drunken demeanors.

As things get more and more godless and wicked, I guess God's people will stand out more and more.


Take care, and have a good weekend,

Fundamentalism - part deux!

and you thought I was done!

This is a quick follow-up to entry I posted a few weeks ago entitled "A Plea for Fundamentalism". I must say I was a bit disappointed by how little comments I received from my readers on this post. I thought it was quite controversial and would stimulate some debate, but...zilch!

I said, in my previous "Fundamentalist" post, that for a Fundamentalist Christian, it was the Bible plus nothing. It is here that I want to bring precision:

How a Fundamentalist reads his Bible (according to Rand):

A Christian Fundamentalist believes and follows the Bible, well, fundamentally!!!

By this I mean that the Fundamentalist views the Bible as the very Word of God. What is written on the page, is what God said Himself, or said through a prophet, apostle or other servant of the Most High. It is to be feared and observed without question or compromise.

For example:

Ephesians 5:22-23: this passage, in no uncertain terms, tells us that wives are to be submitted to their husbands, and that the husband is the head of the wife. Not exactly a popular doctrine in these "feminist" times. While many who call themselves Christians would do away with this doctrine and justify it by saying it was only applicable in the days of the apostles, the Fundamentalist will hold that the wife IS to be submitted and that the husband IS the head of the wife. There is nothing in the context of Ephesians chapter 5 that would allow us to conclude that this precept was for a specific time period.

Another example:

Exodus 20: 7: this passage clearly says that taking the Lord's name in vain is a big no-no. It comes complete with a threat: YOU WILL NOT BE HELD GUILTLESS IF YOU DO!!! Now many "Christians" will believe in different interpretations for this verse; for example:

(a) it means you won't do anything wicked and say you are doing it with God's blessing (doing it in His name).

(b) it means you won't swear or promise something with "God as your witness" and not live up to your vow.

(c) it means you will not use God's name in vain in your conversations, like saying "oh my God!" or "Jesus" in vain.

(d) all of the above.

The Fundamentalist chooses (d). The context and the Hebrew allows for any of these possible interpretations, so the Christian Fundamentalist doesn't fool around, he fears God and he doesn't take God's name in vain, in every possible sense of the commandment.

Yet another example:

Romans 1: 24-28: this passage condemns the sin of homosexuality, both female and male homosexuality. Again, some will downplay this passage and say that it was part of the social fabric of the day, but again, nothing in the context of Romans 1 allows us to believe that the passage was relevant only to the 1st century. So the Fundamentalist believes that homosexuals are sinners outside of the grace of God, needing to be born-again into the family of God if they are to be saved.

One final example:

Romans 11: this whole chapter deals with Gentile Christians and Jewish Christians in a totally separate way. Paul starts by saying that God is not finished with the Israelites, then says that by their "spiritual slumber" salvation has come into the Gentiles, and warns the Gentiles not to look down their noses at the Jews for they remain God's natural branch (the natural chosen people), and finally v.25 and 26, IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS, makes it clear that "the blindness in part" of Israel is temporary (until the fullness of Gentiles are saved), and then all ISRAEL will be saved. A Fundamentalist believes that Israel was, is and will be the chosen nation of God.


These are but four examples of how a Fundamentalist deals with Scripture. The common thread is simple: don't take any chances with Scripture, don't downplay or ignore the things that don't fit with your thinking. The Scriptures are suppose to form your thinking, it should never be the other way around. Why? Because our "thinking" is corrupted by sin (1 Corinthians 2: 14).

Some food for thought I hope,

God bless,

This Kind of Thing Drives Me Nuts!!!

You know the church is in SERIOUS trouble when...




If you can't read what is on the sign, I apologize. I tried darkening the letters using Microsoft Paint, but it didn't help that much. The sign reads:

The Matrix
7 PM SUN Nov 23
Followed by a dialogue

My gripe: On the Lord's Day, in place of an evening service where God's people could be praising and worshiping the Lord, this "church" presented a violent, stupid Hollywood movie. And this promise of dialogue, assuming it is somekind of Gospel presentation, still doesn't legitimize this nonsense. The Word of God says: "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." (Romans 10: 17) Faith doesn't come by Keanu Reeves or science-fiction trilogies, it comes by the preaching of the Bible.

And they call themselves Baptists...oye...I'm going to ask my pastor if we could switch names...


(yes, the letters on the sign have been doctored, but I assure you, I just darkened the letters. My wife took the picture as we were driving past this church a few weeks ago)


Later,

This Week's Bible Readings

With the Holidays over, let's catch up...

Here are the daily Bible passages to be read as we continue to "Read Through the Bible in One Year":

Monday: Leviticus 25-27; Hebrews 11-13

Tuesday: Numbers 1-2; Acts 1

Wednesday: Numbers 3-4; Acts 2

Thursday: Numbers 5-6; Acts 3

Friday: Numbers 7-8; Acts 4

Saturday: Numbers 9-10; Acts 5

Sunday: Numbers 11-12; Acts 6


(Again, if anyone else wants to join our reading club, you are more than welcome. If you have any comments on the weeks readings, leave it in the comment box related to this post.)


Take care and God bless you,

Down With The Abomination!!!

Beth, Joe, Pastor Tim, this one is for you...

There is an evil in the world. An evil that has a grip on our society, and indeed has propagated around the world. Christians, yes even Christians, have fallen to its wicked influence. This post is my valiant attempt at correcting my errant brothers and sisters.

What is this abomination? None other than...Coca-Cola or Coke.

Now before you harden your hearts as in the days of the provocation, hear me out. First off, every one knows: "Coke is sweeter, Pepsi is better". Any discerning tongue will have to agree that Pepsi truly is "the taste of a new generation". On these grounds alone, it is time for repentance, dear Coke drinker.

If the "taste" argument doesn't cause you to repent on the spot (I believe it should), there is more. Consider the history of each drink. Coca-cola was put on the market as a brain tonic which contained habit forming drugs like cocaine; which is where the name "Coke" came from. Pepsi, on the other hand, was put on the market as a digestive; Pepsi was short for a digestive enzyme called "pepsin". Ah ha! which drink seems more righteous now wicked Coke-drinkers?

Finally, let us consider two other distinctions between Coke and Pepsi that I believe have spiritual implications. First, consider the colours of each product: Coke is red, like red hot, like the Lake of Fire maybe? Pepsi is blue, like the sky, like Heaven maybe? Second, to all you Calvinists out there, remember the number of grace is 5. Well, how many letters in C-o-k-e, and how many in P-e-p-s-i?

It is clear my friends, Pepsi is the best tasting, and most spiritual of colas. All you Coke drinkers out there, feel free to use the comment box to publicly confess your error.


Later!


(to all of you, out there who were not blessed with a sense of humour, this post was written tongue-in-cheek)